The Most Important Thing

May 13, 2013
by Michael Lee Joshua

mother's day

Sometimes we miss the most important thing.

On Mother’s Day, we honor mothers – whether adoptive or biological – but our own mother, in some way. Then there are many of us who honor a wife because she is the mother to our children. Flowers, brunch, greeting cards. Is that all there is? Is one day really all that important anyway?

I’ve never bought anything for my wife on Mother’s Day, citing as a reason that she is not my mother… But I believe that after 32 years of marriage I now have a different perspective altogether. For this year, I will honor my wife, but for a reason that might surprise others – I’m pretty sure it will surprise her.

I have learned so much from my wife in the last 32 years.

I write as “Grandpa’s Heart” because I am so completely in love with my grandchildren. I didn’t have an example of a grandpa to follow, so I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. Then it dawned on me that I have learned much about how to love them from the example that my wife has shown me over these many years. When I struggled with depressions numerous times, she has maintained steadfast in her love; as I moved from one endeavor to another, she has always been my strongest supporter. Even when it didn’t make much sense…

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31

I realized this week that one of the reasons that I know how to love my grandchildren is based upon the manner in which my wife has loved me; with a fullness and gentleness that I rarely was entitled to receive from her. I am able to give them love without judgment, with an openness that is totally sincere, just as I experienced from my wife so many times in years gone by. Children have parents to worry about the day-to-day corrections, but grandparents – we just get to love them. Sure, we want to help them to make good choices – but we want to make sure that they know they are loved above all else.

All of my skills as a grandpa I credit to the example that my wife set for me. Patience, stability, unconditional love… Add to this that I would not even be a grandpa except for the children she brought into our marriage.

The most important thing: Thank you, Melanie, you taught me how to love. Happy Mother’s Day!

 


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