Scars On My Heart Written by Michael Lee Joshua

February 10, 2011
by Michael Lee Joshua
courtesy of

Just yesterday I had a good friend. Really, two good friends.
Someone I shared stories of home life, children, challenges, grandchildren. Someone that my oldest grandson just asked me about going to visit.
Calls him the ‘Man that talks about the yellow lines.’
“Please, let’s go by,” he said, “I like those people up there.” I replied, “Yes, they were all very nice to you, weren’t they? But I don’t work there anymore.”

But somehow, something went terribly wrong.
Today I opened the envelope and found out that I had been betrayed. After a three year friendship – or what I thought was a friendship – it all turned to mush. I thought it was an innocent misunderstanding – the envelope proved I was wrong. It was a calculated move.
Do I know why?
No, I am at a complete loss.
Many times, I had been told that things were never as they seemed. But I thought I knew better. With all the trials we had shared and the family issues that came our way. With the freedom that we all enjoyed to speak our minds without it affecting our friendship. Notes from them thanking me for all I had done in three years stand as a testament to my heart.
Why would someone that I had worked to benefit and protect in many ways, personally, professionally and financially, turn on me?
It makes one wonder if putting yourself out there, getting to know someone, listening to their tales and sharing your own… is it really worth it?
So, discussions, plans for the future, investing myself into a relationship that falls apart in such a short time…what exactly does that mean?
How does it happen?
What brings us to such a place?
Yes, I’m hurt.
I am betrayed. But the worst part is that I don’t know what brought it about.
I wish I had never opened the envelope.
I would rather not have known.
A day ago, they were still my friends. I keep telling myself that. I have no response so I will simply remain silent.
That changed  – all in a twenty four hour period.
I’m not sure that my heart will bounce back from this one.